Greenscape Gardens Green Blog

THE OLD SIGN PHILOSOPHER

SANTA'S TRIAL

You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias St. Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode, with the following charges:

** Crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on December 25
of each year as far back as records go.

** Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves and dwarfs
the minimum wage, provide paid vacations and wages at time and a half
for more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the standards of
the Worker's Compensation Boards.

** Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments,
income tax deductions to the proper authorities
on behalf of your employees.

** You are accused of illegal entry of millions
on December 25th of each year.

** Failing to file a flight plan for your travels.

** Failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or properly fitting
your reindeers with emission control devises.

** Not declaring as taxable income the cookies and milk
left for you by millions each year.

** Illegally competing with the Post Office, and possible breaking
of drug laws by administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph to make his nose light up.

** and finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely rooftops, and having no record
of either a driver's or pilot's license EVER.

FACED WITH ALL THESE ACCUSATIONS AND UNDERSTANDING THEIR SEVERITY,
HAVE YOU ANY STATEMENT TO MAKE BEFORE I.........
WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS,
A HAPPY NEW YEAR,
AND DISMISS THESE CHARGES?