Saturday, January 29, 2005


Lifetime gym membership.....for sale, used once......Ask for Chubby

I get enough pushing my luck

Today, the OLD SIGN PHILOSOPHER, is the #1 listing in Goggle, Yahoo, Lycos, AltaVista, Excite and Dogpile. Not bad for a family owned garden center......locally owned, now universally known.

Check us out at



A man left the cold and snow of St. Louis for a vacation
in Florida. His wife was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter in the address, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Thursday, January 27, 2005


Street tree plantings face harsh growing conditions. Special attention must be made to select the correct trees especially well suited to an urban environment. The “devil’s strip” is often referred to as the area between the sidewalk and roadway. This area requires special care in planning and maintenance. Trees must be selected to match site-specific conditions such as limited growth space under utility lines, and reduced planting zones between the sidewalk and roadway.

Trees on the following list will do well in our local environment. The trees on this list offer a wide range of varieties and cultivars which adapt well into our local landscapes. Listed by common name, botanical name, and recommended varieties.

American Linden: (Tilia americana) --- Redmond
Ash, Green: (Fraxinus pennsylvanica) --- Marshall's Seedless, Patmore
Ash, White: (Fraxinus americana) --- Autumn Purple
Black Gum: (Nyssa sylvatica)
Catalpa: (Catalpa speciosa)
Chinese Pistache: (Pistacia chinensis)
Crabapple: (Malus spp) --- Prarie Fire
European Hornbeam: (Carpinus betulus)
Goldenrain Tree: (Koelreuteria paniculata)
Ginko: (Ginko biloba)
Honeylocust: (Gleditsia triacanthos var) --- Shademaster
Littleleaf Linden: (Tilia cordata) ---Greenspire
Norway Maple: (Acer platanoides) --- Crimson
Pear: (Pyrus calleryana) --- Chanticleer, Cleveland Select
Sugar Maple: (Acer saccharum) --- Green Mountain

This list is not all-inclusive and there may be other trees that can be planted with careful consideration.

Check our availability at Greenscape Gardens

Tree placement

• Before planting make sure there is no public utilities in the area. In the St. Louis area call Dig Rite at 1-800-DIG RITE or 1-800 344-7483
• Proper placement of the tree will reduce potential damage to sidewalks, curbs and gutters.
• Look up! Will the trees eventually interfere with high voltage wires.

Tree selecting

• The tree should have a single trunk. Multiple trunk trees may interfere with traffic since the branching is lower.
• There should be one central leader. The tallest limb should appear to be an extension of the trunk with all other limbs arising from it. More than one dominant leader will cause the tree to split later in life.
• There should be no scars or tears along the trunk or major limbs.


• Dig a hole the same depth as the container or root ball and twice as wide.
• Remove the root ball from the container carefully. Slice the sides of the root ball approximately ¼ deep at 2 inch intervals. This root pruning helps the tree develop a stronger root system.
• DO NOT LIFT THE TREE UP BY ITS TRUNK! In the case of balled and burlapped trees.
• Make sure the top of the root ball is approximately 1-2 inches about ground level.
• If the hole is too deep, add enough soil to raise the root ball 1-2 inches about ground level.
• Backfill the hole with a 50% combination of the existing soil with organic compost. This will encourage quicker root development.
• Thoroughly water the planting area.
• Create a mulched planting moat to help retain moisture.


• Water the tree once or twice weekly during the first two years.
• Take rainfall into consideration when watering trees. Water the tree when the moisture level is dry under the mulch.
• Deep watering will encourage the roots to grow deeper and become more drought tolerant.
• Keep the tree ring mulched for at least the first two years adding fresh mulch when needed. DO NOT ADD MULCH HIGH UP THE TREE TRUNK.


• Insects can weaken trees and make them susceptible to disease. Monitor the health of the tree and apply proper insecticides and mitecides as necessary.
• Proper prune the tree for shape. As the tree matures a certified arborist should be employed to assure the vitality of the tree.
• Deep root feeding after the first year will assure the vitality of the plant.

For additional information concerning trees and tree care, check out The National Arbor Day Foundation.

The Norfolk Island pine is a unique pine which performs well as an indoor houseplant and can double as a live indoor Christmas tree. Its lush green branches of soft needles provide a lovely backdrop for festive holiday ornaments or simply as a great indoor houseplant. A close friend has traditionally decorated their Norfolk Island Pine in Christmas attire for the past five years. Greenscape Gardens has an assortment, ranging from compact desktop plants to large floor plants. In Florida, the Norfolk Island Pine will grow to a height of 30 feet or better. Normally as an indoor houseplant, you may attain a height of six to eight feet, however, I have seen Norfolk Island Pines in shopping malls attain 30 feet of height.

Unlike most pines that are familiar in the St. Louis area, the Norfolk Island pine is far too tender to plant outdoors. However, it's an elegant houseplant when given proper care. The ideal indoor climate for this species is cool and bright, responding well to daytime temperatures ranging from 60-70 F and slightly cooler at night. Although the Norfolk Island pine will adapt to bright indirect light, the plant will look its best with a couple of hours of direct sunlight daily. If the light source is coming from just one direction, I recommend rotating the plant a quarter turn weekly to keep it from tilting toward one side.

When the plant is actively growing, feed it with a fertilizer formulated for indoor foliage plants. The plant usually rests during the winter months, at which time there is no need to fertilize.

Water the plant when the top inch or so of the soil in the pot feels dry. Use enough water to allow a little excess to escape through the bottom drainage holes. Discard remaining drained water after about 15 minutes.

What is most challenging for the typical home gardener is giving this plant the high relative humidity it requires. Norfolk Island pine thrives at 50 percent relative humidity, yet it is not unusual for the average house to drop to 15 percent during the winter heating season, unless steps are taken to increase moisture in the air. Running a humidifier will increase both people and plant comfort and is the most effective way to adequately raise the humidity. During the winter months we manually mist the Norfolk Island Pines several times a week. This also keeps dust from accumulating on the needles.

It is not unusual for a few needles on the lowest branches to turn brown and drop. If this happens slowly over time, it's likely just normal aging of the branches or possibly from lower light availability. However, if many needles are browning, or if the problem appears more widely distributed among the branches, look to problems of either too much or too little water or too little relative humidity.

Insects are seldom a problem for Norfolk Island Pines. A thorough inspection of the Norfolk Island Pine on a weekly basis will reduce any potential problems. When insect or mite activity occurs, apply according to label recommendations.

The Corps of Discovery is still attempting to cut the boats out of the ice. Captain Clark bleeds the man again who sufers from pleurisy and also administers medicine to make him sweat. Charbonneau returns from the Hidatsa village.

More Lewis & Clark information



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,"Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

Wednesday, January 26, 2005





The temperatures have risen considerably with readings of 12 and 20 degrees. One of the men suffers from chest infection pleuisy, Captain Clark bleeds the man which today we all realize is worthless.

Lewis and Clark Trail Heritatge Foundation



A father often read Bible stories to his young son.

One day he read, "A man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

WOW.........ANOTHER MILESTONE FOR WWW.GREENSCAPEGARDENS.COM with 27,000 website visits in less than 1 year. We must be doing something right since we've had 92,000 web pages in addition. Thank you for visiting our website and we are constantly improving the website with addtional gardening information.



The Hidatsa villages have welcomed a band of Assinboine Indians. Captains Lewis and Clark dispatch Charbonneau to meet with the Indians. Most of the Corps continues cutting the boats out of the ice.

For addtional information: Discovery Expedition of St. Charles



Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, "Life is so darn boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!"

"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill. The first fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause.

The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.

"I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement."

Sunday, January 23, 2005


Houseplants are sold in many different places, such as at garden centers, florists, greenhouses, nurseries, and home improvement centers. Plant quality and guarantees, along with price are important factors to consider when making a purchase.


There are several things to look for when shopping for a healthy plant. Begin by inspecting the leaves carefully. They should have the right color, shape and size and be free of blemishes or brown edges. Also, the lower leaves should not be pale or yellow. A good specimen should not look leggy or sparse. It should have a good, balanced shape and not be top heavy.

Look closely at stems and leaves for any signs of insects or disease. Finally, look at the pot and soil. If roots are growing through the drainage holes or are seen at the soil surface, the plant has probably outgrown its pot. If you choose this plant, special care will be needed when transplanting into a larger pot. If you are unfamiliar with the plant, a proper label will be important too.

Initial plant care

It is a good idea to keep a new plant away from other plants for 2-3 weeks. This will protect the other plants from possible attack by any insects or disease. Most houseplants are tropical or sub-tropical in origin. Often, they have been grown in greenhouse conditions or even outdoors in southern climates. If plants have not been acclimatized, they may go through a period of shock.

Houseplants will often drop some leaves or they may yellow, when initially brought into a new environment. This adjustment period should not last more than a few weeks. During this time, keep the plant relatively cool to help minimize water loss through its leaves. Check the soil regularly to determine when to water. Also, do not fertilize at this time, since the plant is adjusting to lower light and humidity conditions.

Check out Greenscape Gardens for all your gardening needs.

Exercise bike for new rarely used.....Ask for Chubby

Sign Philosophy 101.....Dread one day at a time



Four inches of fresh snow greet the Corps of Discovery this morning and the temperatures stay below zero.

Additional information concerning Lewis and Clark



At the crash site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team.

"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"

Book review by the Old Time Sign Philosopher

I must admit I always thoroughly enjoy a Clive Cussler adventure. In fact in the "Trojan Odyssey" I was unable to put the book down and go to bed......finally at 3am I finished the book but was unable to sleep because I was rehashing the entire story plot......How does he come up with these great story lines?

Once again Dirk Pitt in his James Bond immortality saves the world from apparent doom. Sidekick, Al Giordino as always is alongside his longtime friend with the added braun and experience. One of the most fasinating aspects is the retold version of Homer's "The Odyssey". IT MAKES YOU THINK!

Cussler once again weaves a spellbinding adventure. Without giving out too much of the storyline, I found the floating resort, the tunnel and the lost artifacts very compelling. The "super storm" in the aftermath of the recent Asian Tsumani added a depth of intrigue to the book.

The Old Time Sign Philosopher rates this as a FIVE STAR ADVENTURE.

For additional Clive Cussler books check this out.